commitment and capacities - the both.
Well, when I got that COVID 19 thing.
I had to isolate, not go to work.
I felt worn out; and waiting till they'd ring
to say I could then leave my house. Berserk!
I didn't like the "exercise" that time,
and many other things have come along
producing feelings that seemed like they rhymed
with that old chaffe, a mindset without song.
This song's for me to sing when they occur,
to help me wrestle-ing with my de-sires,
to pin them down, and master them before
they master me*. Oh God you are much high'r
so that I can cry out for needed help,
and you will know, the way for me to grow
from being just a GOD-cub, your own whelp,
conceived in your own womb-world, doomed to show
creation, your great wisdom, love, respect.
So I will not ignore, or just put up
with difficulties you allow, for heck
today, tonight, I might just grow on up
enough to really trust creative love,
and get some back-bone of my very own.
I'll look for chances that come from above,
to do some exercise, and get some tone.
Then go again, to build capacities,
no tantrums, or demands, but "If you please!" -
for manners' sake, because I know that he's
determined to help me grow up. He sees!
When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realise that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become men of mature character with the right sort of independence. And if, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem he has only to ask God—who gives generously to all men without making them feel foolish or guilty—and he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given him. But he must ask in sincere faith without secret doubts as to whether he really wants God’s help or not. The man who trusts God, but with inward reservations, is like a wave of the sea, carried forward by the wind one moment and driven back the next. That sort of man cannot hope to receive anything from God, and the life of a man of divided loyalty will reveal instability at every turn.
James 1:2-8 J.B. Phillips, New Testament In Modern English & Greek,
and other English versions, and yet other English versions, and parsed Greek)
Think any trial, difficulty, hardship, temptation, unexpected visitor that may mean a change of plans, something that might mess up my expectations or hopes, something that was not in line with my current desires..
Welcome … the above, because I know I am putting myself under the leadership of a will that is wiser than my desires, & I am being grown by creative love, in ways that will
exercise my faith, which
produces the quality of endurance.
(let this process continue, when it's finished & fully developed, and I will find I have become)
a man of mature character
with the right sort of independence & stability
(And if, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem he has only to ask God—who gives generously to all men without making them feel foolish or guilty—and he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given him. But he must ask in sincere faith without secret doubts as to whether he really wants God’s help or not. The man who trusts God, but with inward reservations, is like a wave of the sea, carried forward by the wind one moment and driven back the next. That sort of man cannot hope to receive anything from God, and the life of a man of divided loyalty will reveal instability at every turn.)
* Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.’ Gen. 4:6-7 NIVUK
° For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:19-25 NIVUK
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