🤔

  

🤔confused, 

wondering, unsure, trying-to-see-a-way-forward, confused,  lost-in-thought, thoughtful, know-something-but not everything, learning a new way of seeing things

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The Walkerian Sonnet: iambic pentameter, 14 lines, an organization & rhyme scheme: opening- ABBA, playing around with it - CDDC, other options - EFFE, a decision - GG.

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I’m not so sure, but I’ll give it some thought.

It’s difficult sometimes to put in words.

But I’ll give it a go. See if you’ve heard

something like it, or seen one someone bought.

Sometimes I am left wondering myself,

I feel a bit confused, at least unsure.

But in that space, I learn to not need more, 

& yet some things appear, as though an elf

or Muse was playing with me, ope’ning up

to more dimensions round me, my mind here.

Sometimes it’s just the words, though it appears

at other times forgetfulness erupts!

I’ll settle for the cloud ’v “unknowingness”;

that might let new dimensions through - less stress!

---

do life

(to gether!)

---

And OMG! I’m sharing life  with you.

I don’t have to be capable at all.

I started as one tiny cell. A few.

Then hundreds, & now trillions* - not so small!

And you’ve been trying to help me grow up,

to learn to care for this big lump of cells. 

That's even when I “act up”, interrupt.

There are folk who give me their life. It smells

like perfume when they just absorb my shite,

and give to me more goods than I give out.

They’re acting then in line with what I might

call plain ol’ goodness, and it’s good, no doubt!

That view of what’s responsible (not shame)

which I agree with, ’coz it has more faith-

-full-ness than just a rule applied the same:

“we’re more responsible, the more we take”.

So then, the more I've done - of life with you,

the more chance I will have to grow and thrive.

& I am then responsible to do

more with, the more I'm gi'en. Not just survive-

al strategy, to not have expecta-

-tions placed on me by ev’ry one around.

It might sound good, but doesn’t leave a space

responsible for knowledge that we've found.

And this is not a rule placed on the world, 

so much as just a statement of what’s true,

like times-tables, as our minds are unfurled

to them, their insight helps know what to do.

And OMG! I now feel more response-

-ible, the only way to th’ dignity

causality and choice give humans once

we take on board our chanc to be more free

to learn to love, to keep our word, and act

in line with something that can not be seen,

but still affects this world like any fact.

And helps us speak in ways that really mean..

mean something in the world. Words correspond

to ways the world is as we pass through it.

While this approach to life is many pronged,

good “rules” express a good way to do it!

---

Footnotes

s* I am presently probably ~38 trillion human cells (x2=~76 trillion human and bacterial cells) since I am ~ 85kg; since on average an adult male at 70kg is ~36 Trillion cells (& about half are small cells like blood cells, about half bigger cells like muscle cells) and about the same number (~38 trillion) of bacterial and other cells that live in or on the body. ~28trillion for average adult woman, and ~24-28trillion for 14 yr old teenager, ~17 trillion cells in an average 10 yr old at ~ 32 kg.

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a walk through last week

(Slow & curious)

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The week that I was “gone” to Brisbane town,

to say “Goodbye” to my wife’s mother there,

who passed from this life here on Earth that’s down

below the metaphorical  we shared.

We used the trip to see fam. - on the way.

Da stay with some, and to recall some tales,

to clean up rooms in house we used to stay

in with her. So my memory  “inhales”.

I thank her for her mothering of my

own wife, who is the best gift I've received,

since I was given what is called my “life”.

We hadn’t always quite seen or believed

the same about the most important things,

yet she was growing kinder - her last days

she got to be more grateful. Each one brings

us goodness wrapped in very diff’rent ways.

And I want to grow as that lady did,

to notice goodness, and express in words

somehow appreciation that gets hid

unless we speak it - so some  folk 'll have heard

something that helps them look through, to its birth,

and see the ways that mediators worked

to make more goodness come to live on Earth.

This is a job I'll do, and not have shirked!

And then there was the time with Dad & Mum, 

(li’ll brother, as we travelled) to share lunch.

A mate surviving cancer, under some …

some pressure still, but rising from that punch.

Some stories that we heard as we drove on,

have also brought us ways to live more life.

I choose to hear from folk  before they’re gone.

To let them tell me their own fun and strife.

And some-times friends can grow where we’d not dream,

and enemies can seem to grow from friends.

At times we know they’ve changed, others just seem

so diff’rent ev’ry time… ’till journey ends.

And now I’m back at school in New South Wales,

in Orange, where I teach the Fearnley class

some subjects till Ms. Huggett’s back. We trail

sometimes, but then at others we “kick ass”.

---

Dear Paul…

[to an older Paul (Roe), from a younger Paul (Walker), in the wake of the Paul (of Tarsus) who was Messiah's Ambassador to the Nations ...]

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Dear God, we heard the news not long ago,

of brother Paul and how his health has gone.

It seems like it just failed, but  you must know

much more, you aren’t surprised by what’s come on

the news to us, his hairs are numbered* to

your heart of love, just as his days on earth*.

Your plans and schemes go past this life, and do

not stop at death of bodies got at birth*.

And as our Lord and Master modelled well*:

(they’d started mourning young “Talitha”’s life

cut short, but) he said “sleep” was where she fell,

then helped her walk to Jairus and his wife,

and then reminded them to give her food.

Your partnership with her, was strong, not rude.

And I think that you knew the needs of who’d

been ushered out, and in*. Your Paul is glued 

to your will bring done on Earth, as in

the heavens* where your purpose means much good

is done on Earth, down here amongst the “sin”

(the falling short of all best hopes as would

be hoped for as we act to seek unfurled,

the honour, immortality, glory)

Then God gives life that was before this world*,

a process started off in Paul (& me)!

And I am glad for each day shared with Paul

upon God’s earth, below the heavens here,

for his determination so to call

for help to one who loves and calls him “dear”*.

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Footnotes:

ad*  “Why even the hairs of your head are numbered”

arth*  “Teach me oh Lord to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom”

irth* “...just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall we bear the image of the heavenly man.”(1 Corinthians 15:42-57) 

l* with Jairus’s daughter, and Martha’s and Mary’s brother Lazarus.

n* see Mark 5

s* see The Lord’s prayer: “May your will be done on Earth, as it is in the heavens”

ld* “some people by persevering in doing good, seek honour, glory and immortality. To them God will give the Life of all ages…” (Romans 2:7, cf John 3:18-21, as below).

r”* “God so loved the world…”(John3:16-21); God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself…”(2 Corinthians 5:19); “you are my dearly loved son, with you I am well pleased”(Mark 1:11); “this is my dearly loved son, listen to him!” (Mark 9:7-8); “as God’s children, holy and dearly loved…etc” (Col 3:12, Acts17:27-29) 

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a camp-fire tonight

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YaHWeH! Tonight we lit a fire and cooked

up food, as well as warming ourselves in

the coolness of the eve’ning air, and looked 

at what the fire showed of what's surroundin’.

We used up energy that was sequest-

ered over many years gone by, by trees

as they just did their job (where birds have nest-

ed) in those solar-panels we call leaves -

combining CO² with water to

make wood that keeps the sunlight en-er-gy

held in its substance - there-by “you know who” 

has helped us to keep warm by “chemistry”.

And we are beneficiaries of that..

..that prior work done, and left as a gift.

So thank you to creative love which sat

down - planning such a goodness that might lift

up spirits in his children, whom he knew

might like to see light, feel the fire’s warmth,

and have a chance to talk about things too,

this is the kind of thing that just might form

the hearth of households right across the world

except I s’pose, wherever we have cut 

the line of this causality and hurled

the pieces far apart, so they might not

be understood and “seen” as one whole thing.

We separate the bits with lengths of wire.

But though we are not birds and don’t have wings,

you saw our true selves  nested round that fire.

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Fam’ly get-together

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Oh, spirit of love, please bless all these folk

as they meet, and they greet, and they listen

to what you've to say, & smile at each joke

that their Dad has with them, as gold glistens. 

---

the gift of the spirit, wind, breath of God

---

Oh God, we thank you for your presence with

us any where we go, and how we feel.

It's better for us than the best-est myth

about old Zeus and Hermes on folk's heel.

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our class

(ways to be in a class of our own)

---

Our class, I'm sure does not mean we’re “well-bred”,

and classy, ‘coz we’ve been all well trained too,

and know the ones to speak too, turn our head

towards and who we really should not do

the honour to give them the time of day,

if they were, in the street, to stop and ask

the time, ‘coz watch on wrist, and mouth could say.

And do all folk require we wear a mask

if we are sick (& tired) of life around,

must we then cover up our mouth for their

sake? Are we not of class enough to’ve found

or think we needn’t learn, or to beware

of doing something which we mightn’t want

to do just then, because we’d rather do

another thing, or use a diff’rent font.

And do they really know our class? And who -

- it is that they are speaking to just now?

To think I might’ve come across like this.

I’m sorry if my face or just my brow

led me to overlook, or be ’na tizz.

So, taking us as one class - in a school,

not on a high fellutant kind of stage,

I think that we’ve potential to be cool

as we learn to be honest, and engage

with folk around, by trying our darned best,

and if we still fall flat upon our face -

then if it is another, don’t make jest,

or fun of them, so we feel less disgraced.

…

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in & out

- the aire that we breathe -

(A great Leader-teacher who I get to spend time with quietly, who pops in and out)

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My teacher, mentor, head, you are a boss

at anything you do, put your hand to,

I love to work beside you,  see your heart

for helping out, not caring 'bout your loss,

much more about their gain, what’ll really do

the trick, in the long run - not just the Start.

You back your word, to your own grief and pain.

You let your light shine out so bright and strong,

'n heavens above, as  models can help teach

they show how light goes on, but then a-gain

when lifted up above, our eyes see long,

and understanding seems to get more reach

till when combined with other gifts you let

grow in us and help us to keep, by use,

say mem-or-y - by it we keep the views

we gained from vantage point we often get

from up above, the “model” that includes

relationships (not seen in local news)

which can hold “much more” meaning for our job

of overseeing ecosystems here.

Your teaching of me, is my great delight,

You set things up so I just see, they lob

into my lap. I take a peek, a peer 

into day poss-ib-il-it-ies from night.

That curtain (royal blue in centre folds

but lighter at the edges, it’s berserk),

shuts up each day, to give us time for works

and focus on our overseeing goals,

inviting peaks, each night pulls back, though lurks

to give us views from underneath - child’s perks!

And thus this curtain draws attention to

what it wraps up, and helps us think to look,

especially when at rolling time we get

a light show in the sky, of diff’rent hue,

each morning, eve-ning, as a piquing hook

on ev’ry day (except when very wet).

This special space we’ve got to partner here

between the heavens, and the earth (or sea),

where winds blow strong or gentle, and we breathe

and share the air, and live, and move, appear,

and disappear (some times we do not see),

yet get to know. Excess, life starts to seeth!

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You shall love the Lord your ...(God/Father/King/Lover/helper ... etc)

with ALL …… . …… .

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Oh God we're scattered round about the place,

there’s some of us kilometres apart,

yet still we forward look to see your face

in ev’ry likeness of you, by your art

and your creative love that would embrace

us in the heart of ev’rything we do,

to do it as a partnership, to trace

your purposes in each breath (as a clue)

to woo us into reaching out ourselves

to touch you, as your partner in this life,

so that together, no matter our health,

as parts of a new covenant, we’re “wife”.

And you, our bridegroom, we want to come in

and share our naked intimacies well,

and we would own your fam’ly as its been

so called, and as in fact you’d like to dwell.

No metaphor is big enough to hold

much of your love, but each might help a bit.

All goodness comes from you, and so we're bold

to use what you are happy to make fit.

Please teach us what we need today to live..

to hear your spoken word into our souls.

To take it in, and let it grow and give

this world your presence (more?)as we grow whole.

So, whether these ol’ bods are crook, or well,

we have a chance to keep faithful as said

within our promises as cov’nant  dwells 

among us, to call us to what you said.

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This ain't a covenant of equals. Sure.

It’s more like parent/ child where honour loves

to honour each the other a bit more..

though not (“fast tracked” at truth’s expense) with shoves.

and love is honoured to be loved back too,

but doesn't give up if it’s not at all.

It has a higher, deeper kind of view,

but can be scarey, it’s price will not fall.

So here I am your junior partner here.

Myself, that is this body 6 feet tall.

But also my small family scattered near,

(both kinds) and then,... believe me that’s not all!

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Cancel Coffee

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Mate, I've got a runny nose and cough that knocks me out if I talk or go into cool air. I think I should not join you for coffee in the morning.

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Oh God! Please help this mate with building stuff.

Give wisdom as they choose what properties

to do what to, & timing in the tough

decisions, to just trust with childlike ease.

While thinking, planning, as he's wont to do,

and often joining in complexities,

of understanding markets, and those who

need help, and ways to join with your fire-breeze...

---

orange fridge

(through lens in head) 

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I experience this world as more than dead..

I know that I feel cold that's bracing, well

on head and shoulders, yet there's warmth in bed -

that isn’t in the body of ol’ Dell.

Her body lies in fune’ral parlour fridge

in Brisbane, where her girl and grandson said

they visited her yes-ter-day and squidged 

her hair still pinned out of her eyes - for bed.

There’s something I perceive (with eyes of mind,

or heart - the part that speaks and feels and “means”)

that isn’t understood by dust, I find.

I think dust can’t; it's folk must ‘dys-’ all dreams

and longings, and commitments, friendship, hate…

Reductionists. They start defining them

as simply artifacts of a whole spate

of “concrete” chemicals and forces when

they walked behind a mirror in their world,

and found no space to live a 3D life.

The two dimensions they allowed were curled 

inside a silver-lined glass sheet. No strife.. 

seems in that world - where no-one ‘lives’ at all.

Just molecules or  membranes that get formed 

into some sheets to rest the dead that call

to take a peek. Not thinking they’ll be stormed

& overcome by pow’rful deluge, or

maybe just a delusion; but it's strong.

The insight that comes to me now is more

like: “Ask for help, where you’ve seen it come from”.

 …

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to (dis) day,

 

to day

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I’m thinking of our class today at school,

since I’m so lucky with these people here.

We’ve got a lot of skills at using tools

and also at befriending who comes near.

We could be covering each others’ backs

and helping other people in our class

but sometimes we feel scared of all our “lacks”

and what we’re not so good at, we let pass…

We could be working hard to get stuff done

and helping our whole class to think, and see,

and understand this life under the sun

till we become what people know as “free”..

to live and act, instead of quite enslaved

to how we’re feeling, and what we desire.

The kind of folk who often have behaved

against their feelings, ’coz of things much higher

all carried to us by our culture through

the people who are sent by what’s unknown

to us, to help us become humans who

are able to grow bigger than what’s shown

by light & sound to those around who see

the same things that we see - the surface stuff

that sometimes is quite hard to see though. We

are mesmerized by glare. We’ve “seen” enough

though hardly have perceived a single thing.

It hasn’t made much sense. We don’t relate.

The hemisphere that’s left can hardly bring

humility to learn, more than the date!

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Odysseus

Two handed..(10 fingers)

---

Assuming all the gods which culture gave 

him, as with walking, language, dress code, and

his sense of humour, honour, kind of whim

allowable, technologies that stand

(because their secrets - held in guilds of trust -

are too complex to master in one life,

and yet can be bequeathed, as well they must,

to individuals, husband or wife).

Where can a man, or woman, go from there? 

What options would he have? And how could she

work well within the confines she has where

she finds herself? And though the options be

with diff’rent clothing, and maybe approach,

at heart they’re sim-i-lar (& complement). 

For humans aren’t one part, both horse and coach

both oars and sails together get ships sent..

 

It's not our place to see the way to take

It is our place to take each step we make

On seeing all our inconsistencies

to choose against confusing drugs of ease,

recalling and confronting our own hell 

that we have brought into this world so well

before remaking, choice by choice, the life

that's gifted us by grace of love that's rife

in any here on earth who keep their word

that’s even to their own hurt. for they see

desire of this small self, too small, absurd,

compared to honour’s acts which always be

more glorious, immortal. Great God gifts

to those who take this path, Eternal Life.

At first maybe, as song or story lifts 

the lives of those around a husband/wife

A unit of humanity to show

the glory of creation which delights

to give itself in acts of love to know

and be known by, the one who ever fights

in ways that open up in time to act

for glory, honour, immortality.

In all confusing aspects, ev’ry pact

they keep, receives for all humanity.

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We just saw Christopher Nolan’s interpretation of Homer’s Greek Story, often appreciated as myth..  this is a day or two of thoughts after the event.

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