I’m Immature, until I’m “him-mature*”

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Oh God I feel rejected, scared, & dumb,

quite silly, stupid, lazy and naïve.

And here at length, at last now I have come

into your presence, never more to leave.

This means that I must share the whole bang lot,

of all my sadness, hopes & wishes torn

to bits and pieces that seem all I’ve got,

just left alone, unhonoured and forlorn.

Yet like him I will learn to throw myself,

upon you, with my Weaknesses and Im-

maturities, as hemisphere's in health-

y fine and good connection, share each whim.

Not scared of what will be the other’s thought,

but knowing that they cannot fail to know,

so being first to share, not to be caught

in shame, as though that is their end. “As though+”

is quite a poignant phrase to say, and does

communicate a process going on.

An end in sight, that isn’t clear, with fuzz-

y covering or outlines, not yet strong,

but childlike, with more growth that’s to be had

and at this juncture of development

my choice has place, though maybe grieved & sad

interpretation’s needed, not just spent

against its will. I willingly will learn,

as though this is my place to share the lot

with you, and only you, I will not spurn

your hesed love, I’ll live, “as though I’ve got”.

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*   “him-mature” is the maturity that comes as a result of a life lived “in relation to him”, the one chosen as “ leader of humanity”, not as a crutch to walk, or glasses to see, but as human brain hemisphere’s are designed with each other in mind. They don’t just benefit from being co-joined with each other, though they obviously do benefit. They are truly and really themselves with each other, and value each other's truth in communication, influence, and real presence to each other. Wow! It’s “as though” I really am a child of God, and “as though” to speak the truth in love really is to speak the very word of God. 

• It’s “as though” I really am a child of God (‭1 John 3:1-3 GNB), and “as though” to speak the truth in love really is to speak the very word of God (Rom 12:5-8;  1Pet 4:1-5, 7-16)

the concept of “as though” [=being treated as if] can be used to build up, or tear down, as part of growth and development into some greater possibilities, or to cover up, thus minimizing any process of growth:

Further references for the concept of “as though” (=treating, or being treated, as if..):

OT

Gen 33:10; 50:20; Lev 25:35; Num 18:27; Deut 2:11,20; 1Sam:20:20;  2Sam 4:6;  Isa 46:5;; 59:10; 63:19;  Ps 35;14; 53:4; Esther 1:10; 

NT

Luke 22:52; Acts3:12; 17:25; 23:15; 23:20; Rom 9:6; 1Cor 4:7,9; 7:25-35; 9:26; 10:14; 2Cor3:18; Gal4:1, 14; Eph 6:7; Col2:20; 3:23; 

2Thess 2:2; Heb 11:27; 13:3; 1Pet 4:12-21; 2John 1:5;

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