Back-story: I feel unappreciated by a mate. Instead of covering over and absorbing a lack of love and care, i feel a reactionary, self-defensive thing growing in me. A strong, bubbling up, bubbling over thing, & I realize my own inadaquacy, immaturity, and concurrently my own inability to be different; and at the same time i realize that the creative love which made this universe can cover over & absord something like this very easily. I recall that this, this is the day (time and place) that the Lord has made, and i can celebrate all of reality, even my own immaturity & inability to move forward "on my own". Then I recall the gospel of God: I need never be (or live) on my own again! I claim this option and try to describe (creatively, like creative love does things), this journey and re-realization that i've been on for the last 15 min. Even trying to truly describe it, helps me to keep making this choice and cement it as my creative choice.
Inta me, see!
Oh God, i have no love in me at all.
The "me" that is an animal has not
the "hesed* " given to us each when small.
When children in our parents' house we got
well, given, lavished (some of us, at least)
the kind of loyal-love* that does not stop
and is the stuff that's tougher than a beast,
and made the universe, keeps this whole shop.
So, when i am connected straight to you,
like hose that is connected to a tap,
it seems your love's available to do
whatever you would ask for from this chap1.
Now i recall God's message, brief, but full,
and set myself to live no other way;
"With God, nothing shall be impossible.2"
And when I see what you've done i can say
I do believe that fully, in this world,
Creative Love can do creative things.
As Jesus' new creation is unfurled
I'm not surprised if people could grow wings
not from the source of our technology,
our ingenuity, the wisdom of
this world that now rebells against you, we
are still so immature, … small fetus gods.
For we are not the sources yet ourselves,
though we can influence your world a bit.
I need your love & meaning and your health,
and choose to live with you (not just be shit3).
* hesed (or kesed, or chesed) is the Hebrew word used in the old Hebrew Bible for the loyal-love shown by God in listening to the cries, and somehow getting involved in the affairs of his people, coming down, & getting his hands dirty. It is a refrain through a number of the psalms, in some repeated every second line throughout the psalm, for emphasis, and to communicate the bedrock nature of God's loyal-love, the enfolding, encircling, continuing nature of God's hesed, as the prime-mover in their own story moving forward (e.g. Psalms 118 &136).
1 things like the second greatest commandment: Love your neighbour as yourself, & the two commands Jesus gave his loyal followers: "Love your enemies" & "Love each other as I have loved you". And that summary statement describing the core of GOD; this person's (God's) actions, and motivation: "God IS Love!"
2 "With God, nothing shall be impossible." This statement (or one very similar to it) is made several times, in various settings, in the Greek language New Testament of the Christian scriptures. (e.g. the angel announcing to Mary about a holy thing to be born from her while she remained a virgin - Luke 1:37, Gen 18:14, or Jesus responding to his followers' amazement at the intervention (or cessation of intervention) of creative love in choosing unlikely people, or sustaining a living tree, itself the symbol of the Jewish temple connecting God with his people- Luke 18:27, Matthew 17:20; 19:26; Mark 10:27). It is a statement of summary, looking back at the Hebrew bible, and of hopefulness, looking forward to the New thing God is doing, and is about to do more of: renewing the whole Creation, and his own family of children.
3 In talking with an athiestic friend this same day, he was describing family life, sex, government as currupt and animalistic and doomed to be (compared at least to our younger hopes and dreams) basically shit. I was saying something like "I see what you are saying, and, if we were to be left to ourselves, I agree, but one example on the planet, like Yeshua, proves there is another way to live. I'm choosing to follow him, and his way!"
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