responding to my reacting

Oh God I've been reactive in my life,

I want to be more prayerful in my strife,

please save me from my sinful, self-worked ways.

I see in other people stuff to praise,

great good gifts from the father of all lights,

though also weeds that tear the nutrients

from soil, which doesn't help the crop in sight.

My anger at this waste (’times I'm incensed)

is not all bad, I see he had it too!

But here I am, I need your help to grow

to be someone who learns my stuff from you!

I sense I have to trust you, for you know,

your ways are higher, even when I think

they're stupid, for you always look with love

upon your children (whom I would not blink

to see destroyed, reacting “from above”).

I know I think my view is right and good,

and always should be taken in a jam.

I hear you saying other ways I could

join with you. God please help me now to stand,

and sit, and walk with Jesus Christ, your man!

The weeds must just be left ’longside the wheat,

(and yet the crop of wheat may have a “plan”),

you're helping me to shift upon my seat,

and trust you're magic (you're the Great I AM)

as your anointed leader who enfleshed:

by actions, questions, stories, (he's our man!)

with prayer and groans, with heaven earth enmeshed.

Oh God, help me to grow in grace, not spam.

---

Further notes to self and friends:

I have started to see, within these last few months, my attitude and expectations are like Jonah not Jesus.

Save us/me from anything less than allowing your spirit of truth to lead us/me into your true love and your love of truth..
Ask me how I've been going with acting first, asking good questions, and telling stories/ using analogies, praying and groaning, and shining the light (rather than cursing the darkness).