larva

(dependent on creative love’s gift of place..)

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Oh Lord! I’m not at all in charge down here.

Remembering the picture which that man*

found helpful, in his mind, to live with fear 

of all that could go wrong, since life began..

a picture of just tentatively grow-

ing one’s own trust, as one find’s underneath

the surface of the ground of all our know-

ing is depths of a dark heat, un-belief,

abyss, that crushes human life complete-

ly, it’s so empty, OR so monstrously

full of an anti-life stuff that we meet

occasion-ly, upheaving stressfully.

They feel volcanic, or like seismic waves,

where all we thought so solid melts away.

Reality as it seems, no “behaves”

(and as we learn that right here it will stay),

is not at all conducive to hist’ry.

We’re visiting - just like a Goldilocks,

but bears will soon hunt us out till we flee.

The “just right”s all forgotten at their knocks.

But I see now a lovely, wondrous thing;

a sandbox made to teach us partnership,

not just as equals - one is Fathering

the others - teaching, training not to slip,

but to have def’nate, actual  habits that

grow trust in who made all this world by words.

Our biggest need is to depend, as F.A.T.*

children, being raised human - not turds!

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n* - Henri Nouwen in his depression reported… an experience of standing in a lawn of turf, with  great hole in the middle looking into an abyss. The way forward was to grow the grass until it slowly covered over the abyss, and then he could still live his life in that place over that abyss. This, it turns out is not much different to the actual facts of all the Earth’s crust being afloat on the molten larva of the mantle.

T.* - F.A.T. stands for Faithful, Available,Teachable

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