oh, me thinks ... that that stinks! *

Oh God there's part of me that wants to be
acknowledged, and thought well of by some folk.
I saw it there tonight in that story
I told of how I helped that other bloke.

Oh God you helped me see it at the time,
but I kept telling, coz I was half through.
I should have stopped immediately, in line,
with what your Spirit came to help me do.

So please forgive me, make me clean. I find
now what to do (& help me stop that talk
& learn to build up who then comes to mind,
instead of using them as stuff to chalk

up tallies for myself to show off now
how good I am at all I try to do).
I hate it Lord, when others do that "bow",
& talk as though THEY did it, without you.

And there I was, just doing what I hate.
The problem really is that it's not true
for me to talk as though I made my mate...
when really all my confidence in you

is not a thing to boast of. I'd be sick
and tired and want to give up, if that was
the thing for me to spuke of very quick.
So I will only boast in You, because

in truth it's you who helps me ever be
in the know, or have a go, or waiting.
By nature I would shrink away, I see.
Thanks Lord for this chance at cultivating!

* In the light of my experience this week, with God (& my our traitorous heart), this appears to be Part One, followed on a few days later with "what life's lost might be compost"
 & then a few days later than that: "choose companions and array antagonists"