Sharing thoughts..

..with those about

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God, you are king, and I will not tell you

just how to run this show, or what to do;

unless you ask my thoughts, upon your knee;

& then I won't think mine the only way-ee!

I s'pose that is the meaning of “humble”;

or “like a little child” - with reverence,

who’ll try to say things plainly, though they stumble.

They’re not entitled, they show deference.

Oh God as I get older, there's a part

of me that feels “entitled” in some way

that doesn't give the folk around a start.

It speaks so loud and strong, when it should say

things gentler, softer, hearing others’ views*,

and asking them their thoughts and how they got

to those conclusions, or to take that news

on plainly, when the contrary  has a lot..

of indications, evidence, as well.

I want to often share with God, & those

who image him on earth here where we dwell,

not as a know-it-all, but in repose -

in restfulness, since I’m so immature,

in need of stable, real knowledge, from more 

than foetal guesses, I need people who’re

plain able to observe, see, and be sure

of what they see, and don’t mistake things (much).

I see a problem here if I forget

or let someone gas-light me, as things touch

my senses, since they’re not a certain bet.

So help me God, to speak the truth in love.

To listen, look, and learn from what’s around,

and then record to serve, as from above

you taught us writing, reading, as we’ve found

in scientific methods: a record

can help where just our memory is poor.

You’ve made us rich in your fam’ly, oh Lord,

And seeing as you see, is something more…

So help from you to grow in mindfulness

is what I’m asking for. Oh God, I trust

your nature that is always to just bless

and not put off “that thing” unless you must.

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Foot notes etc:

P.S. I started writing this yesterday morning after my wife said that at times I come across as a final arbiter, or judge, or know-it-all who squashes discussions instead of opening them up. And that this habit made her sick! (And it makes me sick too, if it’s true, since I have had experiences with others like that in the past and I react like my wife, at least inside. It appears to be a more common problem for teachers, engineers, trained medicos, and many older men; & I fit both the first and last category in that list).

Then I received a speeding ticket in the mail, which I opened last night, before dinner. It fined me for driving at 97km/hr in an 80km/hr zone, over $500.00 and 3 demerit points. I checked, and last night I already had 10 demerit points. My wife had 5 demerit points. We think I was the driver for that part of the trip, but she offered to pay the fine (from our shared account), and to take the demerits. But to do that I have to make a solemn declaration that she was in charge of the vehicle at that time… I finished editing this poem, we listened to two fantasy stories, I recalled Jesus’ words about “Let your Yes, be ‘Yes’; & your No be ‘No’ ”, then went to bed. I had a dream about the fabric of my society being broken down by people not being able to keep their word - to their own hurt, then on waking re-read the poem above and tweaked it, a few times and then knew what I must do regarding my speeding ticket: Ask if they have any pictures of the driver? If they don’t, or if they do and the driver is not a woman; 1) Do the online offender’s course, 2) represent myself in the Qld court, 3) admit my guilt regarding the infringement, and ask for leniency under section 11, then 4) take what I get. Thank you God.

s* - I heard yesterday of a situation to the contrary where a building’s “Lock-down alarm” was so soft and that no one in the building took it as an alarm for their building (they had heard all the other building around having lockdowns, and knew that a lockdown was only applicable for each building where the alarm sounded, but this alarm had no alarming qualities, and didn’t sound to be an alarm for their building - to anyone who was in the building. This helped me appreciate that plain volume & strength given to sounds has a part to play and communicates things, and my volume and strength of speech are generally a bit alarming (as my children are often willing to tell me, & as I experience when with other loud Walker's too - I feel right at home with them).

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