Sudden sinking sadnesses & difficulties

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Well, oh my God, it's here again - that fear,

or emptiness, or meaning falling out

from where it's stored in this life. It appears 

to come just ev'ry now and then - with doubts.

With shame it seems to be associated,

connected with a loveliness that's lost,

and future joys (& past) are abrogated

with this occurrence. I feel grieved and tossed

aside from life's great gifts and joys just now.

It's funny - saying this, I feel a fraud;

b'coz I am so blessed with good around,

& to me - just that through me's missing Lord!

I want to be complete, mature, and true.

But incomplete, & immature, deceived,

spring more to mind for what I be; my clue

that keeps me hoping what I first believed,

is still that story you've brought me into

with you yourself a father; & it clicks,

I know, I see, what life is like for you

with all your hopes and dreams receiving kicks

from us as we still grumble, be afraid, 

attribute all the worst of us to you.

And blame you for our choices, 'coz you made

us able so to choose, and so to do!

 

Well, all this may be true, as I now see.

So just because they seem so opposite,

I won't miss out this opportunity -

appreciate the good that is in it.

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So, "Thank you, for the good I have enjoyed."

And thank you for that great good here just now.

And thank you for all other goods that buoyed

so many babes before me here, somehow.

The babies, and the children who can stand

up on their own two feet amongst a group

are models for those looking for your hand,

and learning mostly, in your fam'ly's loop.

And now I start to see how quickly these..

these little ones can feel so diff'rently,

they let their parents spank them, cry for cheese,

then put their hand out for some help. I see.

 .. t.b.c. ….

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