(well, for a part of me anyway..)
As my umbilical chord was sloughed off;
It had to be cut off, so it could die.
For though it wasn’t Mum’s, or Dad’s, but mine
and was completely needful at the end
of my life, as a body in the womb,
it never was to be my best buddy,
but Mum & Dad are still around for me.
This time, I am ex-per-i-enc-ing things
quite opposite, the other way around:
Before I’m born, and come out of this womb-world
something would cut my life-line, for efficiency’s sake.
Like flushing the loo before you’ve done your job (because you’re just sitting around, and later you’ll have other jobs to do)
Or washing your hands before you’re gardening. Because dinner will straight away after gardening…
Short-sighted, dull, & ego-manical,
a left brain hemisphere that atrophies
it's Corpus Coliseum (the bit that joins the two halves of the brain so that in the end they can work together) so as not to
be bothered by the right’s inhibitions.
So this part of me I need to trap, keep in its place,
until it's will is useless anymore.(when to cut this umbilical cord won’t be a problem, for that new body).
That’s where a crucifixion works a treat!
Whoever would have thought that could be sweet?
Well here I am committed and convinced,
delighting in your creativity,
and leadership, but something in me whinced,
and startled back. and now I “feel for me”.
Hmm.. in-ter-est-ing, ‘coz I've noticed this
the last few days - a focus on myself.
my comfort, & my short-term goals resist
displacement even if for long-term health.
I’m sleeping in, because I feel like that…
I don’t just now see more that I quite “get”.
But you’re the one who knows why I feel flat,
which might not be a problem, not quite yet.
But I can see where it is heading to,
a hellish kind of imploding within.
Not referencing so much that we can do
together. at your instigating. Hin-
dering responses to your gentle calls,
the ways you ask me to come for a dance,
or hike, or midnight frolick in the small
secluded hours at night, when you “perchance”
awaken me, because I’m in your thoughts
for growing strong, life-deep, life-long delights,
but I, myself, did not respond, was caught
somewhere in my own pillow. With a fight,
somehow not quite together integrat-
ed, but I see what you are helping to
grow up on earth a partnership of late
(and early too), a harvest of good fruit.
A partnership, between heaven & earth,
where I am here to be the earthly part,
and you are where you are, and what you’re worth.
so acts - creative, loving are our art.
Ah, there's that small, insidious response:
it wants a place to show off to the world-
a gallery that it curates, it wants
to oust the partnership, it's flag unfurled!
Yes, the Emissary who takes over and
gets glory, pleasure, honour, and “the life”.
And you my Lord & Master, understand
the lure of being lifted up so high.
You’ve taught me how to catch and trap that “self”,
that tiny independent thing with lots
of plans to do, much “bigger” than good health,
It will submit (@ first) - to call the shots.
It doesn’t seem to mind the pain if by
that means it gets its small projects achieved.
It even wants for ev’ryone to spy
it suffering, and too to be believed.
The cross of the Messiah, has alure
not for a death (of what’s already dead),
but for its being lifted up ensure-
ring it will be above each other head,
and suffering as well, might get some oo’s
& ahh’s of pity, fame, or sympathy.
It can not see it's death ahead to choose
another way, it thinks invincibly.
But I am glad my master, for this trap
that you have sprung with bait that works when tried.
My small, disloyal, un-part-ner-ing chap
is for a while, by this means occupied;
and when that “little while” is done in your
estimation; one day when it tries
to get down and to once again deplore
the world through the “old me”. Then hell denies.
Yee Hah! Too right!
Here’s an old proverbial introduction to wisdom, that Jesus probably memorised as a boy: it speaks of people claiming to be one with you, who live unconcerned for the good of others outside the group,yet who are dull enough to be caught in a trap that a bird brain would not be caught in. It paints a picture resonant with “the flesh” that Jesus’ apostle Paul speaks of, where he sees this unhelpful “buddy” as not just external to himself or the life of every follower of Jesus, but as a constant “companion” needing daily to be “put to death”.
[10] When sinners tempt you, my child, don't give in. [11] Suppose they say, “Come on; let's find someone to kill! Let's attack some innocent people for the fun of it! [12] They may be alive and well when we find them, but they'll be dead when we're through with them! [13] We'll find all kinds of riches and fill our houses with loot! [14] Come and join us, and we'll all share what we steal.” [15] Don't go with people like that, my child. Stay away from them. [16] They can't wait to do something bad. They're always ready to kill. [17] It does no good to spread a net when the bird you want to catch is watching, [18] but people like that are setting a trap for themselves, a trap in which they will die. [19] Robbery always claims the life of the robber — this is what happens to anyone who lives by violence. (Proverbs 1:10-19 GNBUK)
They may be “wiley” in circumstances where others assume honour and honesty, but unable to perceive the bigger patterns,.
God uses Jesus to show us how to get rid of this Wiley person (within ourselves) by means of a crucifixion.. Jesus, in the gospels dies once for all, yet all are to follow him daily in taking up their cross. So, it turns out that Jesus must have been taking up his cross every day too, not just the first Good-Friday morning. Embodying in his life and words the stance of “Not my will, but yours be done” As he said another time: “Even the words I say to you are not my own, but come from the Father who sent me”
