If I spend time with God, I'll just get sick.

“He does not heal at all” is my big stick.

---

My God, my God, my biggest fear is that 

You might abandon me (as Jesus cried*!)

He faced that fear himself, and though not glad,

expected to be answered - other side…

and did not flinch at the experience, 

but let that Psalmist* speak for him as well

as of his own life, and it's weary-ance

(not “Ev’ry day feels further from the Hell…”

… we brought into the world with choosing snake

as mentor, just because he could be seen

(no questions still remained, that then could make

us humble and still learning inbetween.)

But God, on other hand does not appear

so, always showing self to outside eyes,

or even heard (by us) with  outside ears.

He looked through metaphore, did not despise

the lowly physical, but vaunted it:

his own ident’fication “Son of Man”

or “Son of Adam” - spirit haunted it

as weak, or immature, a leader - banned

from Garden of delights, with God - on Earth.

I s'pose those kids* had felt abandoned there,

as Cain accuses God’s discipline, worth

those words “My punishment's too much to bear*.”

And God, as gracious Father, stigmatized

as never wanting to provide or give

mentoring to his children, dramatized

in parables, and ev’ry day he’d live:

“If you have ears to hear, then use them now*” ..

..(& hear the deeper meaning underneath!)

“Don’t you have eyes to see*?” He said, somehow

entrusting wisdom that just God bequeathed.

This second “Son of Adam”⁶, unlike Cain,

a murderer from jealousy and pride,

was murdered as those motives lived again,

and showed another way than “run & hide””.

He trusted discipline of God as good,

and not “too much to bear” (unless alone)

and as was said by Jesus, he “could

do nothing by himself*” - he will atone!

---

 Footnotes:

d* - on the cross at the end, he cries out “with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Mark 15:34; Matt 27:46)

t* -  the Psalmist who wrote: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?...”(Psalm 22 in the Bible Jesus would have memorised, & then chose to live by)

s* - i.e. Adam & Eve, billed as completely innocent children of God, at first, who then listen to a talking animal instead of YaHWeH-God, to follow the world-view of.

r* - Cain’s words to God (Genesis 4:13)

w* -  (Matt 11:15; Mark 4:23; Luke 8:8)

ee* - “Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes and fail to see? Do you have ears and fail to hear? And do you not remember? …Then he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?”” (Mark 8:17-18, 21)

de* -  as did Adam & Eve, after choosing Snake’s way, instead of obedience to the will of God, as expressed by God’s word to them : “They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. [9] But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” [10] He said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” (Genesis 3:8-21) 

f* -  e.g. “I have much to say about you and much to condemn, but the one who sent me is true, and I declare to the world what I have heard from him.” [27] They did not understand that he was speaking to them about the Father. [28] So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I am he and that I do nothing on my own, but I speak these things as the Father instructed me. [29] And the one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what is pleasing to him.” (John 8:26-29 )

---