Lord of hordes..

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And you have helped me this far to the grey..

grey head of hair, and kept me on the track.

The track of learning love in that same way

as Jesus modelled. (Glad he’s coming back!)

Not fake love, but the kind of love that’s true.

The kind of true that’s true to ev’ry word

from self, like that which let the light (on you)

to shine, and once it’s sent, won’t be returned

without accomplishing why it was sent

within the mind of who let it get out.

It has the pow’r to do what it was meant

to do, as great creative love would shout!

Each time he shouted all the drinks were free

to take and drink, the food was this way too.

No matter what the surcharge due, they’d be

the same. Connection’s what we have to do.

And this is where I come unstuck myself.

I am so weak and seem to hold to stuff

that’s helpful in the past, or on a shelf

could be of help again. But this is tough -

for if I cannot find it when it could

be helpful later on. It’s not of use!

I think I'll give these to you, asking would

you do what’s best to keep it safe, don’t lose

it. But the truth is - if you let it drop,

that’s probably the best thing for me too,

and I can trust your choices. Please don’t stop.

My biggest, only need is hear (with you).

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Bear my own cross - daily (give up all rights to the self), and follow Jesus as he (for no need other than the need of love) takes up his cross, where with him I will die on a cross. Die to sin, and the power of sin to control me, to manipulate me, to gain purchase over me. Another WAY has gained purchase over me. I have been purchased at the cost of the blood of the very son of God.

Unless I am not only taking my cross up daily, as my way of living only under the influence of love, as shown in Christ, but then allowing his spirit (of HESED love) to take charge of me and to take on my other burdens himself (either taking them off my back, and carrying them with the little finger of the hand that is holding my hand; or, strengthening my back - bone and muscle to be able to carry them with ease and pleasure..), I will not be in a position to truly help others as a conduit of the love of God, as did Christ (who, full of joy and the holy spirit lifted his eyes & head to the heavens in response to the actions of this spirit of creative, generous, jealous, HESED love) while burdened down myself. The job of carrying (or handing over, or plain stripping off) my burdens must be done (& finished, for that time), in order to help in the process of creative love’s schemes to bring aid to enable the whole ecosystem to once again function as a supportive lattice in sustaining life and liberty in God’s world.

 I am your God and will take care of you until you are old and your hair is grey. I made you and will care  for you; I will give you help and rescue you. 

Isaiah 46:4 GNBUK

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