Leadership is not for me!

Christ, grow me past my reactivity,
my smallness, & my sense that I must not
be blamed for things by those right close to me,
especially when it’s not my fault we’ve got

into this mess - “I’ve done what I’ve been told,
or else could see (the best that I know how -
well mostly (there’s that time I wasn’t bold,
or, couldn’t “see how else to act just now”).

I see right now that in that moment I
might just as well have run to you confused
& told you that I couldn’t see, or cried,
& trusted that you wouldn’t feel abused

& shrink, you'd help me in that time as well
where what I needed might have been to see,
or maybe just to speak unsure - not “sell”,
so I’m seen as the leader that I be

(so NOT mature, and finished, already).
I like the fact that you can see further.
Your view is longer than the view of me.
Your view is full of LOVE, you’re the “birther” -

through your torn body we are born & freed!
The tearing, and the loss of “normal choice”,
the gore of the episiotomy,
that lack of dignity, brings girls & boys

right “kicking” into life, with love, and we
hear all that crying, and the peals of pain,
& re-al-ize their immaturity
is not the end, so we LOOK UP again!